5 ways you’re creating narrative distance (and weakening your story)
Narrative distance – also known as psychic distance – is how close or removed a reader feels from your characters and the events of your story. It affects how emotionally invested a reader feels in your characters and how much they care about what happens to them.
As a writer, you can control narrative distance and achieving the right balance – by incorporating both near and far narrative distance – is vital to the success of a story. If you accidentally create too much narrative distance, you can leave a reader feeling disconnected from characters and less likely to read on.
Narrative distance is an important story element. But when you’re immersed in your latest WIP, it’s not always easy to spot where you’re going wrong. So in this post, I help you to identify and rectify unintended narrative distance issues by discussing the five key ways that narrative distance is created.
Why too much narrative distance is a problem
Narrative distance exists on a scale.
At one end, readers are up close and personal with characters, experiencing the world through their senses and getting to know their innermost thoughts and emotions.
At the other end of the narrative distance scale, readers get very little character insight. The story’s setting, events and character behaviour are conveyed objectively and unemotionally.
Most novels travel up and down the psychic distance scale. Authors vary narrative distance to give rhythm to their writing – and to share both the inner world of a viewpoint character and the wider context of the external world.
A novel written purely at a close narrative distance can be overwhelming for a reader. But too great a narrative distance can cause problems for your story too. When you create too much narrative distance:
Readers struggle to make an emotional connection to your characters
Readers are less invested in story events
Readers are less engaged with your story as a whole
I want to add a quick caveat here.
Writing an entire novel from a position of greater narrative distance isn’t always a bad thing. Just look at works by the likes of Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. These authors use greater narrative distance consciously as part of a distinctive storytelling style.
But take note. Because these writers decide not to build a close connection between readers and protagonists, they have to enhance other story elements. Humour, satire and a unique narrative voice help a reader to feel invested in a story, even when they don’t care deeply about its characters.
There’s no right and wrong here. But every writer needs to understand how narrative distance impacts the reading experience so they can wield this writing tool effectively.
5 ways you're creating narrative distance in your story
Worried you’ve created too big a gap between your readers and characters? Then scan your story for these examples of narrative distance.
1. Not revealing the internal thoughts and feelings of your protagonists
In first person, third person limited and third person omniscient points of view, you have access to a viewpoint character’s internal thoughts and feelings. You can delve into a character’s inner world, sharing their emotions, perceptions and sensory experience, and bringing a reader closer.
If, however, you consistently describe events and character actions from an objective distance, focusing only on what is happening externally, you create unnecessary psychic distance and weaken your story in the process.
Keeping secrets from your readers also serves to increase psychic distance. Unless you’re writing a crime or thriller novel, or otherwise purposefully undermining a reader’s relationship with a viewpoint character, a reader should know what your protagonist knows. Actively withholding information from readers may lead them to disengage with your story.
2. Using a detached narrator voice
Even when you’re using your narrator’s voice to reveal external features of a scene, you have the power to increase or decrease narrative distance. It all comes down to your narrator’s focus and the words you choose to use.
If your narrator uses factual, rather than emotive language, and consistently views the world from a detached and objective bird’s eye perspective, you’re increasing the narrative distance of your story.
To narrow that distance and reveal more about your viewpoint character, incorporate a free indirect or stream of consciousness style into your narration.
You can use language that the character would typically use. Or blend their thoughts, opinions and judgements into the narration. You can also describe the setting, events and character from the perspective of your protagonist, focusing on the details that they find interesting.
3. Choosing a third person omniscient perspective
You can vary narrative distance no matter which point of view you choose for your story. But this task is more difficult with some POVs. A third person omniscient point of view can be used to introduce dark humour and satire. But it also inevitably increases psychic distance.
In a third person omniscient story a reader flits between different character perspectives. We may get to know a character’s thoughts, feelings and sensory experience. But we don’t tend to spend a lot of time with each individual. This makes it harder for us to develop real emotional investment.
If you’re using third person omniscient POV without considering the effect it has on reader engagement, and without developing your narrator as a distinctive character in their own right, you run the risk of too much narrative distance.
4. Using too many filter words
Filter words are words like saw, heard, felt, tasted, watched, realised and decided. Writers sometimes use these words to talk about a character’s sensory experience or thought process – but they’re unnecessary. And crucially, they serve to increase psychic distance.
Filter words break the Golden Rule of fiction writing – show, don’t tell. They remind a reader that they’re reading a story; your reader gets to peek behind the curtain at the stage mechanics, rather than just enjoying the show from the stalls.
Compare these two phrases:
“He realised that she was leaving him and he felt sad.”
“The packed suitcase lay on the bed. David’s heart sank.”
The latter example is much more evocative and immediate, right? We feel like we’re living events alongside David.
So remember that filter words act as a barrier between a reader and your viewpoint character. If you identify lots of them in your story, edit sentences to narrow narrative distance and strengthen your storytelling.
5. Recounting events in retrospect
Sometimes you need to fill readers in on events that took place before the start of your story. But recounting events in retrospect is another way you could end up accidentally increasing psychic distance.
Wherever you can, try to show an event as it occurs. This allows you to show characters’ emotional responses in the moment, rather than describing those feelings after the fact.
Alternatively, if there’s lots of backstory that you want to include, opt for a dual timeline. Write your flashback scenes as though they’re happening in real time. This allows you to share the viewpoint character experience in an immediate and vivid way.
In summary
Too much narrative distance can weaken your story, which is why most writers aim to move seamlessly up and down the narrative distance scale throughout a novel. They use degrees of near and far narrative distance to connect readers to characters while filling them in on bigger picture details too.
If your narrator is sitting on a protagonist’s shoulder rather than getting under their skin, if you spend too long recalling past events or find that you’re peppering your story with filter words, you’re holding your reader at arm’s length.
Ask yourself whether this is a conscious choice. Is a greater degree of narrative distance benefitting your story in some way? And if not, identify and edit your WIP to narrow narrative distance and better engage your readers.
Whether you need a full manuscript critique or in-depth copyediting, I can identify the parts of your story that would benefit from closer narrative distance. Take a look at all of my fiction editing services for more information.
